“One Big Family adjusts to city life after leaving a strict church. Are their dating rules a sign they haven’t moved on?”
How strict was the church that the de la Mottes used to go to?
The de la Mottes were members of an Independent Fundamental Baptist Church for 15 years.
Amber, the mother, said that the community was “old-fashioned” and had not been changed by the outside world.
Marc, her husband, talked about the church’s many rules, like how women should be quiet and follow the rules.
Even their son Elijah added that any music with a beat was seen as “evil,” which is why he only recently found The Beatles.
Why did the de la Mottes leave their church?
The family didn’t know they were “brainwashed members of a cult” for a long time, Amber said.
Marc compared what they were going through to a “frog in a kettle,” where the temperature rises slowly and steadily until it’s too late.
Basically, the family got so used to the church setting that it wasn’t until later that they realized how restrictive it was.
Do the de la Mottes still believe in traditional values?
Even though the family moved to New York to start over and try new things, the way they date shows that some of their traditional values are still strong.
What rules do the de la Mottes have for their kids before they go on dates?
When Amber and Marc’s oldest daughter Pearl admitted to having a boyfriend, they made it clear that she could not have a lover.
Their ground rules said they couldn’t kiss, chat, or be alone for long periods of time. Why did they do that?
They don’t want their kids to have sex before getting married, and they think that dating should only be used to find a spouse.
How did the de la Mottes feel when they met the boyfriend of their daughter?
They didn’t waste any time, let’s say! They asked Adam right away what his plans were, making it clear that dating meant the same thing to them as marriage.
To their surprise, Adam agreed with them and said that his family also believed the same things.
Amber and Marc thought his answers were great, but they couldn’t shake the feeling that they were almost too good to be true.
Quick Facts About the de la Mottes
- Former Church: Independent Fundamental Baptist Church
- Reason for Leaving: Felt like a cult; too many restrictions
- New Home: New York City
- Dating Rules: No casual dating; courtship with marriage as the goal
- Biggest Fear: Their children straying from their values